To split or not to split (the dress)...?

Recently, I have come across more and more message board postings by brides seeking another bride who is interested in splitting the cost of the same designer gown. Clearly the intent is to acquire that dream gown, but at half the cost.

In a phrase, we can only say Oy Vey.

There are so many pitfalls to consider in this sort of transaction, that we feel compelled to remind these brides to address the following challenges before entering into this sort of bridal partnership.

Who goes first? This is going to be a BIG question to ponder. Conceivably, the person who goes first gets the better end of the deal. The dress will definitely be in brand new condition, and all the alterations will be tailor made to the first bride who walks down the aisle. Weddings are a great big party, and as we know parties can be hard on any dress, especially one with a train and constructed in the most delicate of materials.

Keep in mind that gowns will have definite wear and tear after a wedding. Even the most careful bride will discover pulls and/or tears. Gowns will always have some discoloration at the hemline. If the ceremony is on grass or in sand, count on more dirt than usual. In most instances, these signs of wear and tear can be cleaned and mended, refreshing the gown to a like new state. However, there is always a cost associated with these fixes. Budget no less than $250 to have a gown professionally cleaned, and another $150 in repairs to be safe. If these costs end up lower, then you can consider it a pleasant surprise, but it's always better to over budget in this regard.

The bride who gets to 'go first' should bear the burden of the cost, and a fair split would be 65/35 of the retail price. Keep in mind to also consider sales tax, alteration expenses, and those repair and cleaning costs covered by Bride #2.

Red wine anyone? As mentioned, this is THE party of your life, and there will be copious amounts of red wine to enjoy at your Big Day. If Uncle Larry gets a little too rowdy at the bar and bumps into Bride #1 with a glass of merlot, what is Bride #2 going to do? This is where things get harry, because life is unpredictable at its best.

A contract should be drawn up between the two brides to cover these sorts of events. Because in most instances the brides will be strangers to one another prior to this transaction, it is best that both parties protect themselves in case the most unfortunate of circumstances comes to fruition - the gown is unwearable.

Undoing alterations. In a lot of instances, gown alterations can be reversed. The general rule of thumb for alterations is one size up, or two sizes down. The brides definitely need to be neck-and-neck in terms of their sizing for this partnership to work. Also, don't forget that height is key! If Bride #1 is 5'2" in heels, and Bride #2 is 5'10", well, disaster is inevitable.

Get clear about each other's measurements, including height with heels. Discuss whether it is possible to do alterations so they are completely reversible, making each bride responsible for her own alteration costs. If this isn't possible, get really comfortable knowing whether the alterations made for Bride #1 will also accommodate Bride #2.

Resale proceeds. Bride #2 could potentially benefit from selling the gown after her event. This is something Bride #1 might want to think about and discuss. Should each bride split the proceeds 50/50 if the gown is sold to Bride #3? Yet again, another question that should make these brides go 'hmmm.....'.

Knowledge is power. These sorts of transactions really don't bode well for a positive outcome. However, if you have your heart set on a gown that is not readily available by way of a resale alternative, and you discover another bride who has her heart set on the same gown, this partnership could work with the right amount of due diligence and documentation. With budgets tightening, protect yourself and your financial investment. It's always worth the extra time to be sure you're making the right decision.