For couples who don't have huge extended families with lots of little ones in tow, sometimes the decision to invite children sparks a much bigger debate than one would ever imagine. Some couples want their dance floor to be adult and in control, or perhaps kids would add to the bottom line and the couple feels excluding children will help meet their budget needs.
If neither couple has multiple nieces and nephews to add to the guest list, why would guests be upset by the decision to 86 the kids from the list and stick to an adult only affair? DBLA explores some ways to address this conflict which keeps both the couple and the guests happy.
Wording the Invite. For an event that is intended for an adult evening only, ensure your invitation reflects this wish. That way expectations are set upon receipt of the invite, and guests can start planning for a babysitting alternative. Including a phrase such as 'Adult reception to follow' at the end of your invite is a tactful and polite way of saying 'We know your kids are well behaved and super cute, but for our party our guests should be able to purchase an R-rated movie ticket without being accompanied by an adult.'
Include Babysitting Information. For your out of town guest who will be traveling with children, it is a huge help to research babysitting services in your area for them. Call these services and ask important questions to get comfortable that you'll be referring a service that is respectable and reliable. Include that information in an insert in your invitation. It will take the sting out of excluding an important member of their family, and your guests will appreciate the legwork you've already done.
Stick to Your Guns. There will always be a few guests who will ask you in private, maybe over drinks at happy hour while tipsy, whether you
really meant to exclude their children. It is important to stick to your request and not extend special favors to guests who ask to specifically bring their children. Doing so might offend others who went out of their way accommodate your request, only to find that others at the party didn't have to do the same. Your friends should understand that this is your party and you're framing it the way you and your groom want it.
Being tactful and polite in this area goes a long way in making sure your event is structured the way you intended. It's an event where Moms and Dads can dress up to the nines, have a few cocktails, and get jiggy on the dance floor. Making your event an unofficial 'date night' is quite all right.
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